Baby A and I are going to a concert tomorrow: Tegan and Sara. I am mentioning this because Tegan and Sara are indentical twin musicians.
I have read/seen a lot about the Quins' ideas about being twins. I know all twins can relate to this, as put by Tegan in an ABC News interview up on youtube: "It's sometimes easier to be around Sara than it is to be around the rest of the band, because I can't abuse the band the same way that I can abuse Sara... She can come in and be in a bad mood and I can be in a bad mood back to her." Twins do not need a filter up all the time, because the other one is going to stick around no matter how cranky, rude, or otherwise obnoxious you are being. Sara says, "We'll just be honest." Tegan replies, "Yeah, we'll just be rude to each other, and be like 'Eh, this sucks, I hate you, it's your fault.' 'No, it's your fault,' and then we're just, like, over it." The thing that is different between twins compared to between significant others or friends is a fight between twins is going to be over, it's not the end of the world, everything calms down in matter of time, and life goes back to normal. Fights in other relationships can end them.
There was one interview that I did not know what to make of at first. It was an interview from MTV's Subterranean, Tegan and Sara discuss how "terrifying" identical twins are. Sara says, "I hate twins so much."
Tegan agrees, "They are terrifying!"
"They are so scary!"
"Especially when they look alike."
"And when they're look at you, like they're both looking at you at the same time, I am just like 'Oh, we're gross.' That's why we really live 3,000 miles apart."
At first, I was "Well, that's strange." For me, seeing other twins is exciting. I don't see very many of them around, especially now in a university (some twins choose to go to separate schools. How, I do not know). It's nice to talk about being twins with other people that "get it." Baby A and I field a lot of questions from singletons, but other identical twins just confirm that we are not weird.
But, when Sara talks about why they live so far apart, I understood. Twins can be intimidating. Twins are already a complete unit, so trying to find a significant other while being around your twin can be hard. There have been people that stopped being friends with us because they couldn't handle the twin connection. It made them feel excluded. That's a true story. We NEVER meant to make anyone feel excluded, but some people need the kind of attachment that a twin just can't give them, because that attachment already belongs to someone else. (We have been very lucky to find friends that not only don't mind the twinship, but applaud it).
Tomorrow night should be very exciting! We are looking forward to a great show.